A common theme among young people is love and relationships.
It seems that everyone who knows eveyone is either in a relationship, looking for a relationship, or ending a relationship.
There are many reasons and theories why a man longs to be in union with a woman and why a woman desires the same dream.
A common problem I see in the world is that there are so many relationships that break up and never last.
I always wonder why this happens and I’ve come up with many different ideas.
One in particular is that people do not know themselves, let alone know the person they are dating or even married with.
There exists an never-ending journey of finding oneself. Eventually, there comes a time in a person’s life when they can say they know who they are, what defines them, what they’re good at, what they’re bad at, what they like, what they dislike, and what they believe in.
The funny thing about all of this is that you are never done discovering who you are because over time your interests will change a bit, how you percieve the world is altered, and various other things.
One thing that doesn’t change though are your core values and beliefs.
Once you find these, these will stick with you for the rest of your life.
If you don’t have a common core of beliefs it’s pretty hard to know yourself and be self-confident.
This is where trouble occurs in relationships.
There’s a temptation in everyone to place one’s happiness in another person rather than a Supreme Being such as God.
Speaking from a Christian’s perspective, if I didn’t have God in my life, I would have a heck of a time keeping a lasting relationship with someone.
Although, I’m a practicing and devote Catholic Christian, I have struggled with romantic relationships in the past and at times I still do.
Here is what I noticed in myself
- I placed my happiness on the other person. If I wasn’t with that person, I was miserable the rest of the day.
- If I wasn’t approved by the other person, I felt like a was a terrible person and doing something wrong.
- I always feared that the other person wouldn’t love me, if I didn’t do something for them.
- No matter how much I gave of myself and how much time I spent with them, the good feelings never lasted and I was left at the end of the day feeling empty inside.
After many years of this, I came to the conclusion that I needed to change my life around.
I took a break from any type of relationship with a woman and devoted my time primarily to the Lord.
Each day, I would spend time in prayer, conversing with God about my day, the highs and the lows, my dreams and my goals, and ultimately the pains and the hurts of past relationships.
After much prayer, I become stronger and healed.
I opened myself to the Lord, allowing Him to fill me with His love and grace.
Whenever I felt lonely, I went to Him.
Whenever I felt discouraged and had negative perspectives of myself, I went to Him.
Whenever I just wanted to be in a dating relationship with a woman, I went to Him.
This process was a difficult and painful one in the end, but I exited this metamorphosis of sorts, as a new and empowerd man.
Not only did my relationship with God improve, but my relationship with Mary, Mother of God grew at expiated rates.
Through my conversations with Mary, she led me to her Son, filling me with an abundance of the Holy Spirit.
I have a great love for others.
My brothers and sisters in Christ.
Now, the next time I enter into a dating relationship with a beautiful sister in Christ, I will be able to love her completely and fully in an altruistic and self-disciplined manner.
I can do this because I allowed God to fill my heart first, casting, molding, and polishing my soul so that I can love others, especially women with a love that imitates God’s love for all of us.
For all men, look upon Mary as the cornerstone of what to search for in a woman.
“Therefore, when Jesus had seen his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold your son.” Next, he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour, the disciple accepted her as his own.” John 19:26-27
For all women, look upon Jesus as the model of what to search for in a man.
“He who holds the bride is the groom. But the friend of the groom, who stands and listens to Him, rejoices joyfully at the voice of the groom. And so, this, my joy has been fulfilled.” John 3:29
“Then the kingdom of heaven shall be like ten virgins, who, taking their lamps, wnet out to meet the groom…and those who were prepared entered with him to the wedding, and the door was closed.”
Matthew 25: 1, 10